


Shadows Cast from the Highest Tower

by fish-with-a-pencil (DeadFeesh24)



Series: League of Realms AU [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts, Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Gen, Kairi vs the concept of surrealist metaphor, Kairi's on a mission to be everyone's big sister, THE FIC, also known as the mark of mastery test from hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2018-12-17 03:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadFeesh24/pseuds/fish-with-a-pencil
Summary: Kairi's mark of mastery exam isn't exactly orthodox, but she's never backed down from a challenge.  When faced with a girl with a shattered heart, and another girl with no heart at all, she makes it her personal duty to get their classmates out of a crumbling world, whatever the cost.AKA: In which Kairi's worldview is changed forever, courtesy of Himemiya Anthy and her girlfriend, along with a Mastery Exam from hell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A few things, this matches up pretty nicely with Someday, and it might fill in some worldbuilding blanks, so I highly recommend checking it out before this. It's a quick enough read: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9267098
> 
> This is set about two years after UtSS, where Kairi is eighteen and looking to take her mark of mastery exam. I'm trying my best to avoid spoilers for stuff about it, since I have it planned out but not written, but I'm not perfect, so there will probably be some little bits of information sprinkled in here and there.
> 
> As always, my work is unbeta'd. Thank you for reading!

Kairi should know better; she should not be doing this.  If she had any shred of caution or rationality, she’d turn on her heels and head straight out of the infirmary into the bright golden afternoon.  Even her most impulsive instincts are hesitating, screaming, ‘hey, maybe we should hold on a sec and think this through…’

Yet, she finds herself creeping down the hall of the infirmary, carefully inspecting her surroundings.

Reality is bending in a way that just  _ screams _ genjutsu, with the barest whispers echoing down the halls of the infirmary, “ _ do you know, do you know? _ ”  The columns seem to loom and bend and twist above her, folding in ways that just don’t work in three dimensional space.  In fact, space itself unfolds itself into foreign, non-euclidean geometry, and marble floor is suddenly insubstantial, sinking and rocking with every step she takes.  Darkness whispers through every crack and corner, making her fingers numb and her spine tingle.  

_ “Do you really know?” _

The whole hall is dim, even though it’s midday.  The stained glass windows no longer throw out the bright shards of color that make days in the infirmary more bearable.  Bright darkness shines through the windows, making the leading cast stark, lace-like shadows.  But that’s not even the worst part; no, that’s how the suddenly overlarge windows seem to watch her.  She feels the familiar itch of eyes on the back of her head, staring, judging.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Kairi can see shadows dance.

Just this morning she heard two boys talking about a “sleeping beauty” in the infirmary; a beautiful girl who wouldn't wake up no matter what the doctors did.  In the courtyard, a group of trainees had dared each other to climb up and go see her, but Hawthorne had arrived in time to scare them into behaving.  If it had been her teammates, Hawthorne's scolding would've made her double down on her resolve to investigate.  It still did, not that she’d ever admit it.

On the other side of things, the higher ups have been abuzz about a girl who arrived from the darkness, washed up on the shore of the beach south of the academy.  One soldier swore he saw the sea turn deep purple when she tumbled ashore.  Apparently, she had enough strength to stagger out of the sea, but the moment she hit dry land, she went down like a sack of potatoes.

And of course, the nurses all being busybodies, shared the story of the eerie, faint scars all over her body.  Like she was some kind of human pincushion.

_ “Didn’t you hear?  Everyone’s saying she’s sick with a broken heart,”  _ the whispers echo.

Now that’s just creepy.  Kairi tries a  _ kai  _ just in the unlikely case that there’s a genjutsu specialist here in Land of Departure gunning to fuck her over, but the columns still look like they're working in four dimensions instead of three.

Which can only mean that this kind of magic is bending reality, not her mind.

So, she takes a chance, and calls out, “a broken heart you said?”  Thankfully, the hall, in its tangled dimensions, is completely empty; nobody’s here to see (hear?) Kairi talk to a disembodied whisper.  “D’you mean literally, by any chance?”

“ _ Literally...  Figuratively...  Is there really a difference? _ ”  This is worse than talking to the cheshire cat.  Although, she’s always been horrible at double-speak and metaphors; she has the D- grade in literature to prove it.  She’s a concrete sort of girl.  

“Of course there’s a difference!  If that girl’s heart is really broken…  She’s not going to make it.”

“ _ Maybe she needs true love’s kiss! _ ”  

It’s a childish, singsong tone, but her stomach still turns.  True love’s kiss doesn’t mend a heart torn asunder.  She remembers.  

“ _ That’s what all the boys are saying, anyway. _ ”

She keeps moving.  The whispers follow her eagerly.  “Don’t be ridiculous.  This isn’t a fairy tale.”

The girl’s room is at the far end of the hall, which seems to be getting longer with each step she takes, but it’s not too late to turn around.  In fact, if she had  _ any _ sort of sense about her, she’d turn right around and leave the whispers behind.  But that would be too easy.

Something is compelling her to the end of the hall; she needs to see what happened for herself.  No rumors, no whispers, just what her own senses tell her.

“ _ But fairy tales are real, in a way, right?  They’re true in all the right ways. _ ”

“More like all the wrong ways.  All they warn is for girls like me to behave.  I’m not particularly interested.”

There’s something off about the stained glass above her.  She pauses to look, and yep, the moon and stars that used to decorate the upper half of the hall windows are gone, replaced with bold, stylized roses.  The one directly above her casts her in pale pink light, and she freezes.  

REVOLUTION, it says.

It resonates with her in the worst way possible.

In the bottom half of the window, her reflection is wearing an elaborate pink gown; her waist is cinched tight in a pale pink bodice, embroidered across the front in gold roses, and the skirt puffs out in ostentatious layers, dwarfing her.  Something she would’ve worn during her ascension ceremony, if things had gone differently.  If she had been grown into some dainty, cultivated flower, never to do anything of substance in her life.  

Now, it just looks ridiculous, washing out her skintone, and squeezing her into a wisp of a girl.  She has to look down and squeeze her biceps just to remind herself that she’s not horribly emaciated.  Is this a prediction?  Some kind of alternate reality?  She’s not too keen on finding out.

“I’ve gotta go.  It was nice talking to you, whoever you are.”

“ _ Wait!  We think there’s one story that might intrigue you!” _

If she moves faster, the hall stretches out more.  But if she keeps her steps firm, reality doesn’t seem to stretch out so much, even if it feels more… slippery than usual.  So she keeps on at a steady pace, and tries to ignore the whispered story from far away.

“ _ Once upon a time, years and years ago, there was a little princess.  You see, she was very sad, because her mother and father had just died. _ "

“For the record, I know where this is going, and I don’t like it,” she mutters.  “I can remember the rest for myself, thanks.”

“ _ Oh jeez, we’ve got another one of those hero types…  They’re really crawling out of the woodwork these days.  Can’t you just sit and enjoy the story? _ ”

_ “Hmph, she thinks this story is about her!  How self centered…”  _ The whisper sounds just about the same, but Kairi can tell it’s coming from a different source.   _ “We just wanted to share our favorite fairy tale with you.” _

_ “How rude.” _

“Well, I’m too old for fairy tales anyway.”

“ _ Really? _ ”

“Really.  My eighteenth birthday was yesterday.  I think I’ve outgrown princesses.”

One whispering voice gives a little huff, but lets Kairi walk to the end of the hall in peace.  This wing of the hall is completely deserted as well, even though there should be at least one guard at the door.  Instead, there’s just a sign reading, “Do Not Enter.  Security Clearance Level 5 Only.”

Oh good, that’s her clearance level.  They even left the door unlocked for her, how thoughtful!

Right before she opens the door though, one thought gives her pause.  “You never answered my question though.”  

“ _ Which question was that _ ?”

“This girl’s heart…  Is it really broken?”

“ _ If you’d let us finish our story, you would’ve found out, silly girl. _ ”

The saddest part is, she doesn't really need them to answer.  She already knows.  Kairi can sense that this girl’s heart isn’t just broken, it’s shattered.

But, whatever’s drawing her here is even stronger, and the only way to find out what’s going on is behind that door.  So, like the bullheaded hero-type she is (not that she’d admit that the whispers had her pegged perfectly), Kairi pushes the door open.

There’s a girl sitting at the bedside closest to the window.  She’s got dark skin and long, purple hair, and her face is completely devoid of expression.  The look in her green eyes makes her seem ancient, but she’s in her early teens at best; and at that she’s rather small and frail.  She’s wearing a powder pink traveling coat with a matching hat, both covered in dirt, with mangled hems.  However she got here, it was a rough journey.

Kairi can’t tell if the girl is looking at her or somewhere else, but there’s a little monkey sitting at her shoulder, no bigger than her hand.  It looks right at her, but doesn’t make a sound; it just blinks at her once, then turns to look back at the girl on the bed.

Maybe the girl is shocked; or maybe she planned this.  She’s a little young to summon a familiar, but if she’s strong enough for that, then maybe she’s strong enough to cast illusions on reality instead of minds, and to hold metaphysical sway against other mages.  Without being able to read her expression, Kairi can only guess.

And then, there’s the girl on the bed.  For a moment, Kairi’s whole chest seizes up in horror; the girl’s pink hair is an exact match of her little sister’s, and all she can think about was the time she was kidnapped, and brought back with a crack in her heart so bad it left her in a coma.  But Sakura is still only eight years old, and safe enough in Konoha, so the pressure fades, just a little.

Kairi carefully reaches out with her spirit to check on the girl’s heart.  She can feel the faintest response, but just like she expected, her heart is completely shattered.

On the other hand, purple haired girl doesn’t even have a heart.  Kairi can (or rather, can’t) feel it; instead of the tiny mutual ping she gets from other people, it’s like the girl isn’t even there.  Her tiny monkey familiar is giving off more energy than she is, significantly more than an animal of its size should.

“What are you doing?”  The purple-haired girl’s voice is saccharine, almost too much so.  For the briefest moment Kairi can see her eyes, lit up in terror, then her face settles into a mask of innocent curiosity.  It’s enough for Kairi to catch on though; for whatever reason, the kid is terrified.

“I’m going to take a wild guess and say you don’t have the security clearance to be here right now…”  Kairi makes sure not to move too suddenly as she sits down.  “But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.  And I won’t hurt her, I promise.”  

Kairi reaches out fully, probing every gap in the young teen’s heart with her mind.  Darkness lingers between the gaps like she’d been left in the space between worlds for far too long.  All of her heart is there with her; no one tried to extract a piece like any of those sick experiments she once saw.  It had to be something catastrophic to shatter it like that, but Kairi has no way to tell who did it or what happened.

Except maybe the girl sitting on the other side of the bed.

Reality is even more skewed here; the hospital bed feels like a miles-wide battlefield.  Even stranger, the room feels separate from the world outside.  Kairi can’t feel the world’s heart, nor anybody else’s for that matter.  

All that’s left is the inconsistent flutter of the pink-haired girl’s shattered heart, and the strange, wild energy coming from the other’s familiar.  No, there’s something else too, but it’s coming from the girl’s suitcase, not from her.

“Did you know her?  You must’ve traveled a long way to see her.”  She couldn’t push too hard.  Even if she looks fine now, Kairi just knows the girl would clam up at a moment’s notice.

“...Yes.  We were friends.”

“I see,” Kairi replies, “now, just one more question before we go on…  Are you the one doing all this?  You’re not in trouble, I’m just curious.”

The girl doesn’t say a word; her whole face goes blank, and suddenly the whole room seems to snap back on its axes, returning to three dimensional space.  Kairi tries to blink away her disorientation as her extra sense rushes into her all at once: the world’s heartbeat, all the little pinpricks of emotion from the patients in the infirmary and how much brighter everything seems all of the sudden.

Kairi whistles, impressed.  Even she couldn’t have pulled off a spell like that, and she’s been practicing magic since she was five.  “I guess that answers my question.  What’s your name?”

“Himemiya Anthy.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himemiya and Kairi head for the Temple of Heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a little longer than I would've liked, to be honest. I had a good portion of this chapter done months ago, and promptly forgot about it, like I do with most of my pieces, but I finally polished it a little for posting.
> 
> It might still have some typos though, my apologies...

It’s hard to remember protocol when the girl in front of you literally has no heart, especially when she’s telling you stories of heart-swords and duels and witches, but Kairi tries her best.  As she does with all difficult times, she asks herself, “what would Master Aqua do?”

She asks for her age: fourteen, but not.  Himemiya has been trapped in the amber of darkness for who knows how long, and while many aspects of her demeanor are far too young for the experiences she describes, the look in her eyes is ancient.

The other girl is Tenjou Utena.  Himemiya stabbed her in the back, although Kairi couldn't tell if she meant that literally or figuratively.  Most of the things Himemiya described, to be fair, could easily go either way, and Kairi doesn't really want to sort through those details right now.  Instead she takes in the whole picture; a long dead world, powered by a single heart, the resigned fate of a girl destined to be passed around like a party favor, locked away in a coffin (most likely metaphorical, right?), lashing out with the only bit of agency she has left, and Tenjou, at first just playing prince, trying her damnedest to save her friend from a horrible fate.  And the man at the top of the tower, casting long shadows over the lives of children, pitting them against each other for trifles, for things they couldn’t hope to understand. She listens through tales of heart-swords and duels, and at the center of it all, Tenjou. 

“By the stars,” Kairi murmurs.  As the tale winds down, Kairi notices the room has taken that non-euclidean bent again, but doesn’t say anything.  She can get more done with time stretched out like this. “And you’re saying that your homeworld is dead? That all of your classmates are trapped inside a world with no heart?”

“Yes.  When I was there, Onii—my brother—had used my powers to keep the school alive, but when Utena freed me, I took my heart with me.  Without it, I don’t know what will happen. But that’s not why I’m here. I just want to see Utena wake up.” She gazes at her slumbering friend.  “Please, I’m so sorry, just wake up now…”

Her heart aches; even without a heart, Himemiya’s pain is visceral enough for Kairi to reciprocate.  She says, “Himemiya-san, you should know that Tenjou’s condition isn’t very good. Her heart is completely shattered.”

Himemiya stares at her once more, and Kairi knows she’s being weighed against something far bigger than herself; the ancient essence grows clear in Himemiya’s bottle-green eyes.  Her brow furrows, and she looks from Kairi, to her suitcase, and back. 

Kairi wonders what those eyes have seen, to get that kind of wary, evaluating gaze, and hopes that she is deemed worthy.  Eventually, the young girl kneels down to rifle through her suitcase, and pulls out a glass bell jar. Inside, pulsing with pale green light, is Himemiya’s heart.  It’s tiny, for her size, glowing like a dying ember. Like every bit of her essence was burned off powering her world. Even if there weren't horrible ethical ramifications for taking someone's heart, there is barely enough to put back in Himemiya, let alone heal Tenjou.

She clears her throat.  “Himemiya-san, I can’t let you give Tenjou your heart.  It’s for you alone, and I think you know that.”

“Please,” she says, softly.  “She’s the only one that has ever listened to me.  All she ever wanted to do was help me.”

“If she really wanted you to be free, do you really think Tenjou would want you to give her your heart?”  Kairi looks her in the eye. “Because if she does, then she didn't really want to save you.”

“No,” Himemiya agrees, “Utena would never ask that of me.  I just… I want to take responsibility for my actions.”

Kairi thinks for a moment.  Alone, she doesn't have the power to restore a heart  _ that _ damaged (in fact, she doesn't think there’s a single documented case of a restoration on this scale) but with Himemiya’s immense power?  There might just be a chance. A little time at the temple, teaching her while she heals… The parts click together in Kairi's head.

“I think I can help you with that.  But we’re going to need some help.”

 

* * *

 

“See,” Kairi elaborates, as they make their way to the Dean’s office, “they call people like us 'Princesses of Heart’.  It's pretty reductive, since there are plenty of non-royalty who have our abilities, and it's not related to gender at all.  We can sense the hearts of others, channel the hearts of worlds in magic, and most importantly, we can heal hearts. I’ve only had to do it a couple times before; it’s not easy.  But with more people with the gift, you can work together to heal even more damage.”

“Is that what we’re going to do?”

“Yep.  But first, you’ll need to learn how.  There is a place not far from this school, in the mountains.  When I was young, the priestesses there taught me how to channel my powers.  I used to visit a lot too, just to get away sometimes. But I haven’t been there in years…”

“Will Utena stay here?”  There’s that twinge of fear again, so carefully masked.

“I hope not.  I’m going to try to take her with us.  Somehow. She’ll be safer there anyway.  The priestesses there are experts at heart injuries, they can keep her stable while we train.”

“Oh.”

Shiva Hall overlooks the central quad in the most grandiose of ways, wearing ivy like a couture dress, windows glittering in the late afternoon sun.  It’s tiered like a wedding cake, almost; the first five floors making up the first layer, and the next five staggering off in towers and open air walkways, centering around one massive, central bell tower.  Everywhere possible, there are fountains, or stained glass, or well polished marble, anything to glitter gold when sunset comes.

The whole main quadrangle is designed to catch the light in fact, a reminder of sorts that this place, that the League itself, stays firmly within the light.  

Two other buildings frame the hall, Etro and Odin Halls, on either side of the quad.  They’re not as tall, but wide, with multi-floor marble arches and high stained glass windows; five stories of honeyed stone and blue glass to Shiva’s ten on it’s highest bell tower.  Not that it didn’t make the two flanking halls any less imposing. At dawn, when the sun was behind Shiva hall, the building’s windows stared back like empty eye sockets, and Shiva would cast its longest shadow, looming like a beast.

At all other times of day, it gives the distinct feeling of an ancient amphitheater, with the audience of mages and magistrates high above the action.

They’re the oldest buildings on Polaris’ campus, or so they say.  Kairi had always thought of it as a stuffy old lady, reclining on her overlarge skirts.  When she was young, the whole quad seemed so much larger, with the fountains, and the glittering marble colonnades; it was designed this way, to mix awe and fear into the newcomers, to behold the League’s immense power.

But now?

It’s just old.  Kairi can climb to the top of Shiva’s belltower in a heartbeat,  _ and had _ , countless times as a trainee, just for fun.  Now, she can see the main quad for what it is: posturing.  So when Himemiya stops in her tracks when she catches sight of the belltower, Kairi’s a little perplexed.  Surely there’s nothing scary here, not when there’s no shadows.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Himemiya stares up at the belltower.

Kairi reaches out to grab Himemiya’s shoulder, but stops.  There’s no need to invade her personal space. Instead, she steps in front of her, blocking the belltower from view.  “Himemiya? Is something here bothering you?”

“I… I’m not sure.”

“We don’t have to do this right now.  I can go meet with the dean alone tomorrow, and we can just go have dinner, if you’d like.  Are you hungry?”

“No, no.  I want to heal Utena.  I’m just…” She peeks around Kairi to gaze at the belltower again.  “That’s not my school’s tower. My brother isn’t looking at me. But it feels like it.  Like he’ll never stop watching me.”

“Do you think it would help to see what it’s like up there?”

Whatever Himemiya is seeing, it makes her eyes go glassy and blank, and Kairi has to block her view off again.

“Hey, this is your choice.  If you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to.”

Himemiya nods slowly.  “Not yet. But I want to talk to the dean.”

“You got it.”

 

* * *

 

Her meeting with Dean Callister goes surprisingly well.  She had intended to be civil from the very beginning, but she just can't remember there ever being a time where she’d left Shiva hall in a good mood, until now.

It had been brief, in and out in fifteen minutes, but she had managed to snag a complement of two mages to take Tenjou with them to the Temple of Heart, up in the mountains, and indefinite leave, pending Tenjou and Himemiya’s recovery.

Even better, they’d leave at dawn.

An empty phone booth caught Kairi’s eye as they left, right next to the door.

“Hey, do you mind waiting for a moment?  I want to see if you can meet someone.” Kairi wanders over without waiting for Himemiya's response, but sure enough, by the time she’s pressing 50 munny into the video-phone, she’s watching the screen over Kairi’s shoulder.

The phone rings just once, then Sora picks up, and is immediately thrown into what looks like a tree.  For a solid minute, they get an unchanging shot of lavender skies, and faint audio of Sora fighting whatever heartless sent him flying.

Himemiya tries to subtly watch Kairi through her reflection on the screen.  Noticing how she’s completely unruffled, Himemiya brings her own expression to match.  

Kairi catches her eyes in the reflection.  “Oh, don't worry about him, this is normal for us.  It’s our job to fight monsters like that, among other things.”

Himemiya gives her a peculiar look; not glazed over like before, but she’s still matching up what she knows about Kairi against her memories.  “I see.”

Sora gathers his phone up before Kairi can respond.  “Hey Kairi! Sorry about that, you know how it is…”

“Slacking on the job, talking to your girlfriend, tsk tsk.  Let’s hope your boss doesn’t hear about this…”

“Nah, we’re basically unsupervised out here.”  Sora turns his head and hollers, “hey Riku! Get over here!  Kairi’s on the phone!” He turns back to the call. “They have us clearing the plains of heartless so they can farm here, but there’s so much ground to cover that they’re really only supervising the weaklings and troublemakers.”

“And as a paragon of virtue, you get free reign out there,” Kairi jokes.  “Anyhow, things have been pretty weird back at home. I’m actually about to head out to the temple.  There’s been… An incident.”

Sora frowns.  “Are you okay?  What happened?” He turns around and yells, “Riku!  Hurry up!”

“I’m fine, I promise.  We’re, ah, a little shaken up over here though.”  She glances at Himemiya.

_ Is it okay if I tell them?   _ Kairi mouths.  Himemiya nods.

“Is Riku coming?  I want you both to meet somebody.  And it’s probably if I explain to you both what’s sending me back to the temple.”

“Uh-huh, he’s just taking care of the other Behemoth…”  Sora glances over his shoulder. “He’s actually trying to thrall it, I think.  Professor Xehanort said that there’s a lot more to his dark powers than meets the eye, and I mean…”

Kairi interjects, “Professor X is a quack, Sora.  Honestly, he gives me the creeps.” Out of focus, Kairi can make out Riku over Sora’s left shoulder, a dark aura rippling up around him.  “Hey, turn me around, I wanna watch.”

“Yeah, yeah, bossy.  That’s what I’m trying to tell you.  Professor X might have a few screws loose, but I believe in Riku.”  

The camera blurs, then refocuses on Riku.  Most cameras aren’t equipped to view dark magic, so instead of the deep purple energy she can see in person, Kairi makes do with her imagination. The darkness would first pool around Riku, and then jump across to the heartless, tangling it up in Riku’s thrall.  She’s kind of glad she can’t see it.

In theory, Kairi knows how this is supposed to work, but she’s never seen it in action, and without being there in person, she can’t use her heart-sense to track the magic with any precision.

“Pfft, a few?  Mark my words, that guy’s gonna fuck us all over with one of his harebrained schemes…  Anyhow, how’s the thrall thing going?”

Sora runs a hand through his hair, sighs.  “He’s really working himself to the bone over this one, but he did manage to control a whole throng of shadows yesterday.  There must’ve been twenty of the little beasts, it was amazing!”

“So naturally he jumps from that to a behemoth.”  She rubs her temples wearily. Sure, Riku overworks himself more than any of them and the three of them are quite used to it, but she’d prefer to be there with Sora to work him back down.  “Just keep an eye on him for me. Do you think you’ll be home for the comet festival?”

“At this rate, yeah.”

“Good!  I’ll probably still be at the temple then, so maybe we’ll celebrate up there instead of downtown?  We’ll get a better view in the mountains anyway.”

“Sounds like a great idea.”

Suddenly, the behemoth surges, shaking off the cloud of magic gathering around it and fleeing for the forest at the far side of the clearing.  Once all the darkness has faded and the heartless is long gone, Riku comes over to drape himself across Sora’s shoulders.

“Hey Kairi.  How’s leave treating you?”  

She gives a noncommittal shrug.  “Now that you’re both here, I can explain.”  Kairi looks at Himemiya, slides over on the bench, and beckons her over.  “Guys, this is Himemiya Anthy, Himemiya, these are my boyfriends, Sora and Riku.  There’s been some weird shit going down at Polaris. And Himemiya is in the middle of it.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Kairi wakes up a couple minutes short of her four thirty alarm, and takes the extra time to admire the predawn sky out her window.  The view from the barracks isn’t much, but she managed to snag a room on the twelfth floor for her short leave. It overlooks some of the smaller buildings, the main mess hall, and the third training grounds, where she spent so much time as a Junior Keybearer.

For better or worse, this is her home.

Not that it’s much of a home; settling down in whatever barrack the League says, only to race back off to save a world, isn’t much more than a place to sleep.  All of her personal effects are either in storage, or small enough to fit in her kit. She hasn’t even had time to pick up her clothes, or her favorite blankets from storage.  Hell, she did this week’s laundry in her pajamas because she cut it too close.

It’s only when she’s alone that she minds.  If Riku and Sora had been shivering in their boxers right beside her while they all anxiously waited for their clothes to dry, it wouldn’t have felt so damn depressing.

“Ueda-san?  What time is it?”  Himemiya’s green eyes seem to glow in the half light.  Her hair is loose and a little wild around her face; it makes her look her age for once.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you this early.  It’s four—” she looks at the standard issue alarm clock on the dresser— “it’s four thirty two.  I was going to wake you up soon, but I figured you need as much rest as you can get.”

“Thank you,” she murmurs.  “But I want to save Utena, and if that means waking up early, I’ll do it.”

“That’s good.  Temple living requires waking up early, but not like this.  We have to meet the mages who are going to help us move Utena, but that isn’t until five.  I was thinking we could get a little breakfast.”

“Is the cafeteria open this early?”

“Nope.  The only thing that’s open this early is the convenience store on the corner.  I know it’s not exactly fine dining…”

“That’s fine.”  Himemiya peels back the covers; she had worn her traveling clothes to bed, and they’re all crumpled now, but that was the least of their problems, with how ragged they already were.  “Where is it?”

“It’s just down the block, let me just put some pants on…”

Kairi rummages through her bag for her least gross pair of leggings, and throws her training jacket on over her sports bra.  It’s as presentable as four-am-Kairi would ever be, so she counts it as a success, pockets her keys, and walks with Himemiya down the endless stairs to the convenience store.  She doesn’t question why Himemiya avoids elevators.

The walk down is silent, which Kairi doesn’t really mind—before six in the morning, only about half of her brain works anyway.  Instead, she tries to observe her young companion a little more. Even without the trauma to carefully deal with, Kairi hasn’t been around young teenagers in a while.  Sakura’s still a kid, and she doesn’t really come into contact with trainees or juniors anymore. It’s been solo mission after solo mission since she got her fifth star, with tiny excursions to Konoha or wherever Riku and Sora were stationed in between.

And of course, the Himemiya’s trauma wasn’t something to be ignored.  She wished that she had taken more crisis training at Polaris; instead she’s left walking a fine line between being friendly and setting off an unknown number of hidden memories.  

Kairi knows what it feels like to step into memories like those; she wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Picking out snacks for the train ride up to the mountain, Himemiya almost looks like a normal girl.  She lets her familiar do most of the selecting, following along as he eagerly leaps from bag to bag. She even looks strangely thoughtful as she compares bags of potato chips, humming to herself.  

Is this all new to her? Kairi wonders.  How much of Himemiya’s appearance is carefully constructed?  Does she feel like she has to improvise on the spot just in case?  She’s only known Kairi for a day, so, for all Himemiya knows, Kairi might be eagerly waiting to send her off to her certain doom.

A miserable looking young man rings up their breakfast (and a healthy supply of junk food for the train ride), and they sit right outside the door and eat, watching the clouds roll in.  There’s a dark stormfront off in the distance, but in the deep blue of the morning sky, it’s almost hidden. By the time it hits Polaris, they’ll be well on their way to the temple, and by the time it reaches the temple, they should be settled in for the night, maybe even asleep.  Kairi thinks longingly of the hot-spring, and soaking while the storm rolls in, letting the rain wash over her.

At the very least, the temple is a much more relaxing spot than Polaris, and hopefully one with less triggers for Himemiya.

“Say,” Kairi says, “if I make you uncomfortable, I really hope you’ll tell me.  You’ve only known me for a day, so I totally understand if you’re feeling cautious, but…  Just let me know. I won’t be mad, I promise.”

“I’ll try.”  With delicate fingers, she plucks off a bit of her own pastry, and dangles it above her familiar.  He leaps up to grab at it, but misses by a hair. He’s a delightful little monkey, and Kairi can’t help but take pity on him; she tears off the other end of her breakfast and hands it to him.

“Oh wait!”  They both pause.  Her familiar cocks his head.  He’s already stuffed the bite in his mouth, and his cheeks jiggle as he turns to look at her.  “Can he have chocolate? It won’t hurt him, will it?”

Himemiya laughs; it’s completely silent, just her shoulders shaking and her eyes pressed closed, but genuine as far as Kairi can tell.  Her face goes hot. It’s been a while since she’s been laughed at, not that it hurts. “It’s okay. Chu-Chu will eat just about anything, and he’s never gotten sick before.”

“Chu-Chu, huh?  That’s a lovely name.”  

He puffs out his chest, his tiny paws cocked on his hips.  Then, he’s distracted by Kairi’s offering of yet more croissant, which he devours in a split second.

“He likes you,” she says fondly, “he likes Utena too.  The first time they met, he was choking on a cookie he stole, and Utena gave him a spoonful of her tea to wash it down.”

_ Sincerity looks good on Himemiya _ , Kairi thinks.   _ Her whole face lights up, when her smile reaches her eyes like that.  _

The idea that she has to tamp down her feelings at all makes Kairi go cold.  She had understood Himemiya’s implications, when they first met, when she spoke of her older brother, but the more time Kairi spends with her, the more the horror sinks in, the cruel reality of what Himemiya has faced.  She’s both glad and furious that she’ll never meet Ohtori Akio.

“I’m honored.”  She says, “it sounds like Tenjou’s a really good person.”

“She is.  All she ever did was try to save me, and I still stabbed her in the back…  And after that she _ still  _ saved me…”  

Kairi knows what she’s about to say will come out wrong, but she doesn’t want to stay silent, not when Himemiya’s demons are eating her alive.  “And hurting her was wrong, yeah. But I hope you won’t beat yourself up over it, because this wasn’t your fault—this was all on your brother,  _ not you _ .  I really wish I could say this more clearly, dammit…”  Before she can continue, her phone buzzes, alerting them that it was time to meet the League mages at the infirmary.

“Listen,” she says as she gathers her bags, “one day I’ll be smart enough to explain how awful your brother is, but today is not that day.  Just remember this: he’s fucking trash.”

 

* * *

 

They arrive at the temple in the early evening, with the storm nipping at their heels.  The wind had turned right when they left the train station, carrying with it the taste of lightning and heavy rains and urging them on up the mountain to their destination.

The main gate of the temple was a thirty minute mountain hike from the train station; a well trod path lead to a wide torii gate, which gave way to a massive cleansing pool.   _ That _ led straight to the temple's main building.  It was a place from a time long past, with shoji screens and dark laquered floor details; there were tatami mats in all the rooms, the fare was traditionally vegitarian.  It's just about the last of its kind, the only one that still trains priestesses of heart. Girls from the original noble families of the Land of Departure are usually sent there for summers at least.  It's the League's best kept secret: there's five dozen princesses of heart living in this temple, all from the Emperor's bloodline.

Thinking about it makes Kairi vaguely nostalgic for the summers she spent there honing her heart powers; if it hadn't been for her keyblade, she would've been sent here to become a priestess for good; in fact, she had been groomed for it.  The other priestesses in training were quite good natured about the whole thing—when she summoned her keyblade—Kairi was always welcome back, but it was understood that she just wasn't cut out for temple life.

The pool itself was inlaid with semiprecious gems and stones, in an elaborate mosaic. It was said that if you visited every temple in the Land of Departure, the cleansing pools told a story about the heart of all worlds, and the Land of Departure's place among them.  However, half the temples on the world had burned in war, or torn down to make way for something new, when the League arrived, hundreds of years ago.

This mosaic in particular seems to be a mistake; it’s just a landscape of a beautiful, sunlit garden, done up in emerald shards and subtle lilacs.  Scholars tried to decipher what the door at the end meant, as well as the keyblades stabbed into the grass, but without its sisters, the mosaic is impossible to understand.

The mages give her a strange look as she toes off her shoes to enter the pool.  “It’s fine,” she says, “you can leave her to me now, I’ll carry her the rest of the way.  Unless you want to cleanse yourself and come inside?”

They both shake their heads emphatically.  For some reason, not many people like to visit the temples anymore.  She's seen people turn their heads to deliberately avoid eye contact with off duty priestesses, or pretend to not see the tiny shrines that still inhabit the capital city.

“Alright.  Himemiya, since you’re coming with me, you gotta take your shoes off.  The only way to enter the temple is to walk through the cleansing pool; you’re supposed to leave all your worldly baggage at the gate, and start fresh once you enter the temple.”  There isn’t enchantment on the water, but it relaxes Kairi nevertheless. Once she's here, nothing from the outside can touch her.

Himemiya stares at the water for several moments, re-visiting things Kairi can’t hope to see.  She comes out of it on her own, and kneels down to look at her own reflection.

“Leave it all behind?  Will the water really do that?”

Chu-Chu floats by on a tiny inner tube, complete with a straw hat and oversized sunglasses.

“I could probably come up with an elaborate lie,” she says.  Her knees creak a little when she kneels next to her. “But I don’t think you’d believe me.  The water is more symbolic, I think, a clear line of where the temple begins and the outside world ends.  It’s not enchanted or anything, but since I was a kid, I’ve always been able to let go, when I walked through the water.”

Kairi goes first, levitating Utena’s stretcher on her own above the water.  The water, only reaching her ankles, is cool and calm. She takes a deep breath, but when she releases it, she can’t let go.  There’s still too much to do. Perhaps her exit will wash the stress instead, when this is all said and done.

Himemiya steps into the water, green eyes glittering.  “Huh. It really does help.”

Kairi grins, and almost reaches her hand forward to ruffle Himemiya's hair, but stops herself after a twitch of movement.  She keeps getting tidbits of the girl hiding behind Himemiya's facade, and she can't wait to see her get more, but she's not about to scare her off.  For all she knows, Himemiya might never like physical contact. It wasn't her place to push that boundary.

"I'm glad.  You deserve a break.  I mean, we're going to be working, but still…"  Kairi doesn't exactly know what she's trying to say without sounding creepy.  Sakura's given her intense sisterly instincts, and it's quickly extending to Himemiya, she thinks.  She settles on: "you've been through a lot. If you can, use this time to spread your wings a little, figure out what you like, what you don't like.  Get comfortable with asserting yourself a little. I'm not sure if this'll make things easier at all, but there aren't any boys where we're going."

Himemiya purses her lips for a moment.  "No boys except Chu-Chu."

Her sudden snort shocks Himemiya; her eyes go wide for a second, her whole body freexing.  

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to spook you…  No boys except Chu-Chu," she affirms. "I just hadn't thought about it, I wasn't laughing at you…"

"Was I funny?"

"Yeah, a little.  Not in a bad way, it was just… Surprising.  In a good way."

"Surprising in a good way…"  Himemiya nods. "Utena was like that, always surprising me.  I didn't realize it was good until it was too late."

"Hey, don't say that.  It's not over till it's over," Kairi replies.  "Until then, we have work to do. C'mon."


End file.
